My partner is always comparing our finances to someone else’s. What can I do to make my spouse focus on ours?
In the age of social media, we get a peek at how other people live. Everyone seems to have friends who take exotic vacations every year or have new cars every time we look at their profiles. Maybe your partner finds it hard not to wonder why the life you share isn’t full of adventures and expensive meals, and this leads to stress about your situation. Financial envy is a trap that can shake the foundation of your relationship.
How can you help your honey see the bright side?
First of all, it is about perspective. Keep in mind that people always show the best. Sure, you might see the newly renovated kitchen, but not the overtime that was put in to pay for it. You might see that new car in the driveway, but not see the tremendous mountain of debt that they have racked up as a result. The struggles they face to show of these “prizes” is not visible with the pictures.
Everyone also earns a different income. You might be starting out, whereas a neighbor has been in his career for 15 years. So that might mean he will make more money than you do. That means you both can afford different things.
Create your own financial goals. Find out what matters to both you and your partner and move your focus from what others have to what you want. Work together to put a plan in place to help you both reach those goals together.
If it’s really causing a rift, talk to your partner about using his envy as motivation to pick up some extra hours or change his financial habits. After all, fortune favors the bold!