This past month, I reached a milestone. Â Yes, I am admitting this to all of you – I turned 40 years old. Â I honestly am not embarrassed nor ashamed of my age. Â I actually like being 40. Â As my birthday came and went, I started doing a lot of thinking. Â First of all, I knew that 40 was just a number and it didn’t change who I was. Â I also started looking back at my life. Â My mistakes, accomplishments and what matters now.
I remember back when I was 20-something, I had these grandioso ideas of what it would be like to be 40. Â I figured I’d be in charge at a company, my kids would be in high school, I’d have a fancy car and a huge home. Â I thought that by the time I was 40, I’d have figured “it” out. Â What is funny is that “it” has changed over the years.
In my 20’s,  “it” was what it took for me to be successful in life.  As I moved into my 30’s I pretty much figured that “it” was still about success, but changed from success being fortune to success in my overall life.  And then, as I approached my 40’s, I realized that I still really wasn’t sure what “it” was about.  Was “it” about being happy through success at work?  Was “it” about being a wife?  Was “it” about personal achievement?  To be completely honest, I still have not figured much out except that where I thought I’d be at this stage of my life is actually where I though I’d end up  — but maybe defined a little differently.
Like I said, I thought I’d have kids in high school. Â Well, I have kids — 3 of them — 2nd grade and younger. Â Life has a funny way of not working out the way that you want it to, but rather the way that God wants it to. Â It just took me a lot longer to find my soul mate, so that meant the kids did not come along as early as I had hoped.
I also looked at where I thought I’d be in my career. Â Never did I imagine I’d be working for myself. Â That has truly been a blessing to be in control like that! Â And so I guess I can say I am in charge at a company – just never had any idea that it would be my very own company.
I look at the car I thought I’d own. Â I will admit that I figured it would be a luxury import. Â Funny thing is that I am happier with a Honda Odyssey minivan than I think I’d be with that BMW. Â It isn’t about what is on the vehicle, but what’s inside it. Â Inside this vehicle I usually find my family – my pride and joy.
Oh yes, and the home. Â My home is wonderful – I truly love it. Â What is it I love the most? Â Is it the size or is it the decor throughout my home? Â I can honestly admit that it is the decor. Â However, it isn’t the furniture or colors on the wall. Â It is the handprints the kids made for me and framed to hang in my kitchen. Â It is the artwork which donns the refrigerator. Â It is the photos of my children when they were each baptized. Â It is the marks on the basement door marking the height of my kids as they grow.
As I have been aging, I also realize that my body certainly has a mind of it’s own. Â I have more curves than I ever did before. Â I am not as tone as I once was. Â I have stretch marks where I never thought I would.. Â The thing is, I earned this body through the greatest gift I’ve been given — my children. Â I would never trade one single mark on my body or the imperfections to fit back into my skinny jeans. Â Although, I will say that my husband has been warned to give them the “Oh No You Don’t” if he finds me in Mom Jeans!!! Â I might be a mom, but mom jeans will not be welcome on this body.
I am actually grateful that I am no longer 20. Â I have no desire to go back to those days. Â That is when I thought I knew everything, but now know that I really knew nothing. Â I thought I was confident, but was actually unsure. Â Â I find it funny that while I have achieved my dreams, the definition of those dreams has changed. Â Nothing is as I thought it would be. Â And yet, I am so blessed and happy with my life.
Maybe that is what turning 40 does to you – it makes you become a little wiser in realizing that your dreams don’t take the path you want for them to, they go where God leads you and he helps you redefine them. Â What do you think?